Hearing vs. Listening

Do you ever have a conversation, and then think – 15 minutes too late – of what would have been the perfect thing to say? Do you ever go over conversations in your mind – after the fact – but notice you can’t quite remember everything that was said? I do … all the time, and it’s brings me to something that has been on my mind a lot lately.

Do you hear, or do you listen?

Last week in church our pastor was teasing about how men have a way of hearing and repeating back what their wives say without ever really being aware of what is being said.  The funny part was the nervous laughter that came after.  I know Josh had a little guilty smile. (lol) Oddly, I was giggling right along with the guilty husbands.

And recently, I read an article that asked, “Do you truly listen? Or are you only listening for a break in the conversation so you can say your peace?” (Insert another guilty giggle here.)

Everyone is guilty, I think, of hearing rather than listening sometimes, whether it be with the husband or children, a friend, or maybe even your boss, and having it brought to my attention has made me realize just HOW MUCH I do it!

Sometimes the kids will tell me stories about their days, and ten minutes later I’ll realize just what was said. Josh and I will being arguing about something, and as I watch his mouth work, all I can think is “Will you stop talking so I can make my point!!!”  It could even be as innocent as a friend mentioning a a dream that had that automatically makes me recall my own dream that I just HAVE to tell them about. 

I don’t think  I do it on purpose, and I don’t mean it be hurtful or disrespectful. I do think that my pastlife of hurry hurry, busy busy, go go, do do taught me to rush through everything, conversations included, and I KNOW that I’ve been missing out.

So in my quest for balance and peace, I want to slow down, and practice (because it IS an acquired skill) listening. I want to hear and register what you have to say. Listen now, react later.

Maybe then I’ll actually KNOW the right thing to say when I should it ….

• Posted in: Bloomin' Ramblings
• Tagged: Conversation, Hearing, listening